I can tell you that I'm a lesbian and I'm in a relationship and neither me nor my girlfriend were ever abused. And, in our circle of friends (about 20 lesbians), not one of them was ever abused. We all have good lives; relationships, families, careers, vacations, etc. No one's life is "perfect"; I do choose to go to therapy because I enjoy having an additonal source of support in my life. But it's absolutely possible to be a gay woman and have a full, happy life. I think that if you work on yourself (and accepting yourself), when you begin to feel happier and healthier, you will attract healthier and happier people to you; you will meet other gay women who are stable, loving, generous, etc. and you may feel a lot better about the quality of the women you meet (whether it be as friends or girlfriends). I've found, in my own life, when I don't feel good about myself-- I attract other people who don't feel good about themselves. But, when I do feel good about myself-- I attract other people who feel good about themselves as well. I think your perception of gay women would change a lot if you met a wider range of gay women.