I get the feeling that you don't want to hear that this is emotional abuse on his part. You want to point the blame at yourself for some reason. But it sounds an awful lot like my experience during my marriage, and it was confirmed by several mental health professionals that it was indeed abuse.

He'd make up grandiose stories about himself, how he was "the supreme ultimate being" and was evolving into a higher race and would live to be at least 150, blah blah blah. Used to point out all the women that "wanted him" to make me feel bad that I'd long lost any sexual interest in him. Blamed me for all of his failures. Said if I left him, no one would ever want me and that no one could love me the way he did (thank god for that one).

I'm not sure that you're going to be convinced that what he's doing is abuse though.