Alura,

I was just about to post again and tell you I didn't mean to sound preachy. I am glad you appreciated my response and didn't take it as my preaching to you. I would never want to come across that way.

I agree with you that none of us are perfect, we are only human. You sound like you are very insightful, as well as sensitive. Those are really great things, and I think it will help you to eventually sort things out, especially with a good therapist helping you.

I think it's great that you want to look into what might be you, or what might be him. It's good that you are willing to take responsiblility for your own actions, as far as working through your own issues, and how you react in a relationship. I know you say you think you may have provoked him, although I don't see it that way. From everything you've said it sounds like while you may have problems yourself (we all do) it still sounds like he is projecting his own sickness on to you. I don't see you as being guilty of psychologically damaging him in any way. It sounds to me like it's the other way around. (just my view, I don't know either of you).

As for the sex issue, well I think you are wise to have waited. By you telling him about your last boyfriend and the personal details, I think you were just being honest and upfront about how you feel. I see nothing wrong with that. I don't think you humiliated him in anyway by wanting to share something intimate. It would be different if you were insulting him or putting him down, which you weren't. You were just being honest. I would also think that he would have felt honored knowing that you waited because you thought he was special.

Best Wishes,
Sujin