Triciadrich:

I think we have all experienced painful invalidations, failures, rejection or unreasonably harsh judgment at the hands of others, and tend to internalize it. We learn to reject and judge ourselves, at times. The secret is self-acceptance, so I have been told.

Here's the thing about self-acceptance though: it doesn't mean whitewashing. We all have things we want to do differently in the future; we want to learn and grow and not repeat the mistakes of the past. It is vital to believe we have the capacity to do so. Without that belief, we're in the position of wanting to change but not knowing how, so we end up either beating ourselves up or having to suppress our own feelings.

Emotionally_Dead:

Absolutely!! One of my big problems.