I am still chewing on my Wednesday session. Soon to be exH came to an earlier session that day. (completely pointless but that would be a story for a different forum) Anyway in my session, T said something along the lines of, I let people know by how I behave, or act in a way, that lets them know I am unimportant.

He asked me why I feel so unimportant and I told him. Without going into too much detail. The main things are that I had to meet mothers emotional needs and was rejected by father who won't acknowledge me, but adores my sibling. Rejected and treated poorly by H1 (trauma), H2 (traumatic), and now H3. T gave me some validation on the situation with H and it was good to know he sees what I do.

Anyway how am I supposed to feel important when all I have known/been taught/told is that my needs don't matter and I am treated as if I am not important? How do I value myself when no one loves me (except T)? I have a few close friends IRL, but they need my support a lot, so I try not to tell them my problems, and geographically they are not close. How do I feel good about myself when I invest myself in others and they reciprocate by leaving, getting angry with me, or treating me poorly when I try to speak up?

I am sure I will continue this in T, but I am wondering and thinking about it now. I feel so broken by life sometimes that I don't think I can take another hit. I am too afraid to try with people anymore.