Which is better?

If I cut, I run the risk of being caught.

If I purge it is much easier to hide and still gets out my desire to self harm. But it does more severe damage internally that will not become apparent until it is irreversible.

I took my mom out for a birthday lunch, and have now vomited up my meal into an empty gallon container. It is a quarter full. I just keep thinking how my stomach is huge to hold all that, and more to come.

I used to be bulimic. This is a dangerous game.

I haven't told my T I have been doing this again.