my T said recently that he is able to help me so well, cuz I describe so perfectly for him how things were for me - how I felt put-upon at the dining room table, how I felt isolated in my room - and the other way around. nowhere was safe and comfortable. except now with t. we are all at different stages on our journey, and our reactions to the bad mother book and other books show it. I guess my question is - she has seen your drawings, sat thru your silences - really, almost anything you say, or any of us say - IS horrible to us, but they are witnesses, not judgmental. That is such a big difference. I cannot deal with judgmental. I don't want to tell people about my mini-stroke because of judgmental. One of my BFF's was getting all judgmental on me via email - why aren't the drs doing this? etc - it was starting to tick me off. Or "this shouldn't have happened to YOU." Who, then? We are all just random numbers, helping each other along the best we can, the Rifleman way