Quote:
Originally Posted by Jaybird57
Claritytoo, I guess that thing I would ask you is if you were "different" or struggling in regard to mental health issues before you had the car accident? If things changed or seemed different to those around you after the car accident and you were connected and fine before the accident, I'd definitely investigate how the accident impaceted your brain functioning following the car accident. Brain trauma is a difficult thing to understand because we are still in our infancy in regard to understanding the brain and it's functioning. If you're a person who likes to read, you might want to get Seigal's book "MINDSIGHT". It's a great book that addresses brain structure and trauma in a very understandable way. Good luck~
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I was having difficulty with issues that I, at the time, didn't attribute to mental health. Prior to the accident I had been having difficulty in relationships. I was physically aggressive to the point where my partner would become uncomfortable. But I would still continue. I could sometimes see myself while engaged in sex. When that would happen I would feel a moment of fear and than my head would clear, like a pop, and I would be disoriented. I also had times when I would be acting like a b****. Someone I didn't know. I would try to stop myself but all I could do was watch. I could hear myself talk. Not like it was me but like I was listening to someone else, only it was me. I was aware of a little me to my left, two girls in the dark, my anger, and my rage. My anger and rage were both protectors. At least that is how I new them. After the car accident I was mentally numb, I couldn't remember names, people, tasks, time of day and what day it was. It took seven months to get back to work. I now have short term memory loss that I attribute to the accident. I started therapy a few years ago because I saw myself while having sex with my partner. A friend said that behavior was dissociative. Prior to that I had spent years reading about different types of mental illness trying to find the one that best described my experiences. I looked up dissociative and found it fit my experiences in the most comprehensive manor. There is bi polar disorder, depression, anxiety disorder, alcoholism, in my family history. I have anxiety and have had times when I was depressed. But I was never depressed for more than two weeks tops and that only happened once. I used drugs and alcohol but did not become addicted. I stopped using drugs when I was 21 and stopped and still drink socially without excess. I never have had high highs or low lows. The thoughts/voices are in my head. I have never heard thoughts/voices from outside my head. I grew up in an extremely violent environment. What I think now is I might have created others to help each other through my childhood when I was young and maybe stirred everything up with the car accident. Right now I am still unsure as to wither I created alters after my car accident or wither they have all been with me since before my accident. As I write this I am also realizing that I don't remember a lot of my mid to late thirties. I appreciate your interest and hope I answered your question. Take care