1) it sounds like he was either thinking aloud or working out his own thoughts/feelings regarding that other person and what she's been saying about you.

No, he actually said something like "I think that the one thing that is still in the way is that I heard _______". I guess he was processing it for himself in a way, but it was some pretty shocking and devastating information that was 100% NOT true.

2) i don't know the nature of the lies, but i'm wondering if it's the lie itself or the fact that she's lying that's bothering you. is what she is saying bad?

yes, it's bad. Bad in the context of everything that's happened this year. I can only guess that she is trying to manipulate T by telling him this stuff, but what is unbelievable to me is that IT'S WORKING. omg.

i disagree that this is the end of the road for you and him. yes it sucks and yes it's been (and is probably going to be) painful to work though, but i think it's important work that should be done. i think the potential for growth and healing far outweighs anything else (although i get that you might not be interested in that, and just want t to be t!)

I am seeing him three times this week to see if we can work through it. I need some forward momentum with him because ever since he blindsided me with this stuff AGAIN every session is me sitting there not trusting him and even if I get a teeny bit of feeling of safety by the end of the session, it's GONE by the next time I see him and we're back to square one. If this week doesn't help I don't know what I'll do.

He has apologized, admitted he made big mistakes, said he was sorry that I've been so hurt by all of it, said that he gets it now and he knows the truth and that he's different and that things will be different moving forward. I just don't know. I can't tell you how many times those same things were said to me all through my childhood and they ended up being lies. I can't tell you how many times I thought someone was nice and they ended up hurting me in the worst way. So my past is all jumbled up with now and I just don't know how to move forward. I mean how many YEARS will it take me to trust T again? And then what will happen? Ugh. Sad.

sending lots of 's your way..