I work to breathe my way out of depression also. And when you are in darkness both inside and out--yes, so easy to lose yourself, lose where you are in the world.
Your therapist is who you're supposed to work these quandaries out with. The therapist, I gather, has become part of the problem ... by misunderstanding you or your despair?
I know I'm not understanding part of the puzzle. If you think I have enough of a handle to be of help, I'll try.
Roadie