I thought I was finally getting past it. I actually thought that I might be able to stop if I tried. I moved out of my parents house, which helped. I still have the same issues but now I could actually show my emotions; I couldn't when I lived with them. I was starting to only think about the cutting when I would have to see the scars. I was starting to be almost free of the urges.

I figured out what I want to do with my life. Thanks to a few realizations by others and those drunken talks about life that people my age are prone to, I've become incredibly close with a few of my friends over the past few weeks...I can now say without a doubt that I can talk to them about anything. For several of the days since all this has happened, I've actually been happy. Something I didn't think was possible even 2 months ago.
Things are actually starting to go well. I'm at a point in my life I could only dream of in the past...

...so why won't the cutting issue go away? Why is it that I'm actually happy, and then a wave of depression just crashes over me and makes me see the exact same things in the exact opposite way? Why won't the memories go away?
I was starting to think maybe I could leave my past behind...but I can't. I never will. I was starting to think maybe I could leave cutting in that past as well...it's quickly getting back to happening nearly every day. I guess I'll never escape that either.

I don't know why I even try sometimes.