That's right. You seem to be calm and unruffled for the people around, but this is not so. And you know this, but you want to hide it, hide herself.
How old are you, Skipb?
You wrote about your feelings on the death of your brother. What is most difficult for you - to know that your brother was dead, that he is no longer with you, or you are concerned about the process of death. You remember the accident in color and detail, and now have fear of it?

As for father. How deep do you regret that you didn't have a normal loving father or mother replaced it that you didn't not feel lonely?

Have you passed the test for anxiety? What is your result?

Skipb, the life is very hard thing but you shouldn't be afraid of people who are surrounded you. I know that it's too difficult for you to understand this NOW but this sentence will help you in a future. I hope I help you!