Bless your heart. You should join us on Survivors of Abuse and talk some more. There are ALOT of us there. You will be more than welcome to come and post and talk.
It sounds like you really need to talk to someone. You should try to get into therapy too. Most of us have gone into therapy to try to get thru these things and learn how to cope with them. Your medical doctor can refer you to a good therapist. Talk to him and see what he can do for you.
I hope to see you on Survivors of Abuse. God bless and please take care. Hugs, Lee 
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The truth shall set you free but first it will make you miserable..........................................Garfield
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