Thanks for sharing. I guess unfortunately I can relate to a degree. I always have been attracted to women but would become very shy when it came to asking for a date. I have only had four heterosexual relationships that we're consummated and I didn't loose my virginity until after high school, which always bothered me. That being said I have always had a similar urge or fantasy to be a fem in a homosexual experience. I am not even turned on by looking at a guy but somehow I have had recurrent urges to be submissive. I had one partially same sex experience when I was 11 with my best friend at the time who kind of forced himself on me at a sleep over and wanted me to be a girl during this encounter. I was ashamed and guilt ridden. I was afraid I was gay. That said somehow i repressed this experience. I also had earlier developed a fascination with my own body a few yrs earlier. However after finally losing my virginity these thoughts dissipated until these relationships ended. Whenever I single these urges have resurfaced. About a year ago I started chatting online with a gay male and his comments aroused me but I never went through with anything beyond online chat. Sorry for being long winded but thought this might help reassure you there are others out there with similar feelings.
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