After rereading this post i think I was a little brief in my description. While in grade school I was repeatedly picked on and bullied and would stutter. Thankfully that disappeared. I had one same sex encounter when I was 11 with my best friend who forced himself on me and wanted to play doctor with me being a female patient. I was guilt ridden and felt ashamed for yrs and tried to repress the experience. After finally losing my virginity these thoughts dissipated. However whenever I was single I would rethink that earlier experience and developed this ongoing fantasy of having a gay male perform CPR on me. After ending a long term heterosexual relationship recently, this fantasy resurfaced and I starting online chat with a gay male who had a resus fetish. He asked if I would send a picture of my bare torso which in the heat of the moment I did. Then he said I was sexy and role played this resus scenario in which I was his patient. I became very aroused. Then he started calling me Boo and it scared me off and I never followed through and cut ties. What is wrong with me? I am attracted to females, guys don't turn me on but why does this urge/fantasy exist?