Quote:
Originally Posted by Sr564231
My therapist is the sweetest man and I have been seeing him for almost a year now. His sessions are always supposed to be 1 hour. I am his last appt on thurs night from 8:45-9:45 pm. He always goes over like at least until 10:05 or more. I can never see the clock so i never know when its almost 9:45 to try to stop so i just leave it to him when ever he wants to end. When, I walk out and see I went over every time i feel guilty and want him to stop on time. I always thought if he minded he would stop. Is this normal? Even if it is normal I don't want to feel like he is doing anything extra for me and i "owe him" or something. I want to come for an hour and pay for an hour. I also secretly like that he goes over i feel special but at the same time i just feel conflicted. Sometimes if he sees me he will take me in a couple min early? I usually dont come in until the time so he cant take me earlier. And its like the one or two times he was in a rush and ended on time i felt a little angry at him but i know i wouldnt if he ended on time every other time.
|
It annoys me a bit when I hear of therapists doing this sort of thing, although I know it's probably my stuff. It's fine if it works for you, the client - but it can also be a mindfield like you describe. It brings up worries about being 'special' or 'owing T' or even guilt because of the other clients or having too much. Most of all it gives the impression of shaky, loose boundaries - and bearing in mind most people in therapy have had little or no healthy boundaries, how can T's example be helpful? Your anger might be coming from a need for T to set the boundaries you need so badly, so you know where you are. I suffered from repressed chronic anger at my parents for years for various reasons but only when I was an adult did I realise that it stemmed from a need for them to be parents and call the shots. I think you may need T to be a t and set the guidelines to reassure you. That is natural.
I wonder if you can bring this up with your T and explain how his lack of timing is affecting you. Your feelings are valid here. He probably feels he is doing you a favour but doesn't realise the impact it is having.