thanks so much leed for these awesome posts. they offer me so much thought and self appraisal.
oh golly. this brings to mind the stubborrness i still have. sometimes someone will point out another point in conflict with mine. it takes a lot for me to catch myself and LISTEN to what they have to say. like my way or the highway even if i am wrong and probably know it! i guess the best example of not ever doing this is with my sponsor. i know it is a gift given to me to take her suggestions willingly cause that's not my nature. can't take much credit for that behavior except in my heart i knew she knew far more than me how to stay sober.
your post reminded me of another experience. talk about my ego! if i got into a jam i knew i was able to "scam' my way out of it. sometimes i'd say sit down and think you can come up with a solution to avoid any fall out. you can do this and worse yet i thought that was incredible talent!
a great answer to my question to my sponsor when i asked when should i let god's will prevail or when should i exercise my will...she said "when in doubt don't"...meaning let go and let god. get outta tha way, jan!
i have a competent talent for managerial skills. just so everything went correctly i had i thought to run the show. what a relief when i learned i didn't have to run the world!!! life became far more easy to sit back and allow others to do their thing.
so i had a LOT of self will run riot too. A LOT. learning to leave my will "at the door" turned out to be a wonderful thing. life was far easier and i wasn't worn out running everything.