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Originally Posted by BlessedRhiannon
That's been me, my whole life. I push myself through the situation, and then feel like crap afterwards and have to go hide in my house with my dogs until I can handle being around people again.
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I'm exactly the same! I always use my cat as a form of comfort.
Quote:
Originally Posted by BlessedRhiannon
Good! My younger brother died 11 years ago, and I never really allowed myself to grieve. Working through that loss did help lower my anxiety a bit. It no longer feels traumatic, it just feels really sad. I can deal with the sadness when it comes up, but the trauma side, I needed help with. I was constantly replaying his death in my mind, and it kept me on edge all the time. I hope you can find the help you need.
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Traumatic is the perfect word for it. The moment I talk about him out loud, I get that annoying tightness in my chest. I felt really good the past couple of days, with only my usual fear of having to go shopping and standing in public alone, but then today I just woke up feeling already wound up and on edge. We'll see how things go though, it's a start
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ogre
That's right. You seem to be calm and unruffled for the people around, but this is not so. And you know this, but you want to hide it, hide herself.
How old are you, Skipb?
You wrote about your feelings on the death of your brother. What is most difficult for you - to know that your brother was dead, that he is no longer with you, or you are concerned about the process of death. You remember the accident in color and detail, and now have fear of it?
As for father. How deep do you regret that you didn't have a normal loving father or mother replaced it that you didn't not feel lonely?
Have you passed the test for anxiety? What is your result?
Skipb, the life is very hard thing but you shouldn't be afraid of people who are surrounded you. I know that it's too difficult for you to understand this NOW but this sentence will help you in a future. I hope I help you! |
That'x exactly it, people don't understand just how good I've become at hiding my emotions.
I am 21 in a couple of months.
The most difficult for me is thinking about the accident. I remember the majority of the night very clearly, there's some small gaps. For example I remember every thing up until the impact, I even remember him running across the road, and my other brother stopping because he saw the car coming I remember after the accident, I was histerical and I went to run across the road and being held back by a family friend. I also remember clearly going to bed at a friends house,a nd being woken by my uncle and taken to the hospital. I have a 100% colour image of my brother lying in the hospital bed. The worst part of the memory though, is I can recall exactly how I felt. Every time I talk about it out loud (doesn't seem to affect me when typing about it, not sure why) I instantly get this shock feeling and tightness in my chest and I instantly start crying. There's a very graphic add on tv here to promote safe driving, where an old man is hit by a car. The camera is in the exact position in the add, as I would was when my brother was hit. I saw the add once and it made me get the shakes, cry and I was short of breath. It scares me how much I remember of the night, considering I was only 4 years old.
I've always resented my father to some degree for always making such an effort for my brothers, and not for me.
I wasn't sure which anxiety test you were referring to, so I did both the anxiety screening and quick anxiety. I scored 13 on the quick test, and 27 on the screening.