What you wrote really struck me:

"So my past is all jumbled up with now and I just don't know how to move forward. I mean how many YEARS will it take me to trust T again? And then what will happen? Ugh. Sad"

I'm going to suggest a different perspective that may have the potential to feel invalidating or otherwise not supportive, if you want to define supportive as never disagreeing with another person or failing to condemn a T for having done something wrong. If you are not wanting to hear something in this vein, stop reading now. For anyone who's not nightsky, I would appreciate you not sending me any nasty PM's.

I'm not trying to claim I know the truth or any specific truth or have any corner on the right way to handle this, or any other issue. This is just said in the spirit of this is how I think about things, and I thought it might help you.

I don't think it matters whether your T believes something that someone else said or not. You're not in therapy to have your T believe everything you say as opposed to conflicting information from someone else. If this were an issue about something traumatic that happened in the past that your T didn't believe, that would be another story. But, so what if your T *might* believe something someone else said that isn't true, especially if it isn't about the reason why you're in therapy? And I say might because it just seems to me that you don't really know what he believes, that you might be making assumptions about what he believes, and even if he does tell you directly what he believes, you may or may not actually believe what he says. You're not in therapy to get your T to believe you about this thing. Maybe you feel that it is a precursor to working on your stuff for him to believe every single thing that you want him to believe, if it has nothing to do with the reasons why you came to therapy or what you want to work on in the first place. You're not in therapy to trust your T. You may perceive a lack of trust as an obstacle that must be cleared before you can continue on with your therapy, but that is a belief that should be challenged. Perhaps the perceived lack of trust is an obstacle that can be gone around rather than removed, and it doesn't need to be something that prevents you from moving forward. You see it that way now, but that doesn't mean that is the way it is, or that's the way it has to be. Many of us construct obstacles to our own healing because we aren't yet ready to do the healing work at this particular moment in time. The beauty of creating obstacles is that we can always remove them when we are ready.

In this culture we live in, with the ability of technology to interconnect everyone with everyone and the realities of related social networks, people are going to lie about other people-- or unintentionally pass along lies. Sometimes we learn about these lies and sometimes we don't. But no one person can prevent other people from talking about her and no one can prevent the spread of gossip, rumors, innuendo that are the inevitable part of living in a social world. This is not so much of "it happens, get over it" statement as it is a point of view that we have to figure out how to deal with this when it happens, without letting it destroy you or your trust in people or certainly your relationship with your T. Whatever happened to bring this issue into therapy, I think that what needs to be worked on is the "jumbled up" part of it with your childhood. That it might be important to address how that terrible dynamic of what lies meant when you were a child still affects you know and how you might be constructing what is currently happening within that framework, rather than a more balanced and mindful perspective on the relative lack of threat that is inherent in lies in your social world now.

I know that for me, I look back at certain events/interactions in my life and I see that I brought my past to them and perceived threat that wasn't there. Now, I look at times or people when I feel threatened and ask myself whether I'm bringing something into this from my past or whether there is an actual threat now. As I have continued to heal, I see fewer things and people as threatening.

All I'm really trying to say is that it is worth considering whether the threat that you perceive is really, actually there in your T and/or this other person, or whether you are bringing your past and feeling threatened because of that. Of course it's not always an either-or, but for me what has tended to work is for me to focus on how my past is activating the threat, because that is something within my control. What other people do or what other people believe is not under my control.