OK i think you all may be right it is to much all at once and i am freaking because i read it again today and started to chicken out.it is only Sunday and i am freaking so i know it isn't going to happen.i was kind of hopping writing about it here might make it easier but it hasn't. but i have reread the suggestions here and i am not going to give up i am going to put some thought into what is OK but still important information and write that down.kind of a revised addition with out so much humiliating information.maybe i will be able to give that to her and work up to the rest.maybe she will be able to make it easier to talk about it.but i have little faith in that.lol