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I really like what asp said regarding Gia:
"'she was a different person to everybody... and if somebody said they really knew her, then they didn't know her at all.'"
I feel this way...Although, as I've become more honest and consistent in recent years (which could be maturity) certain people come fairly close to knowing the real me. I apply certain aspects of personas I find appealing and apply them to situations...
If I am in a social situation and feel uncomfortable I am cool and aloof, if I am in a social situation and the people know me well I can be funny and silly...serious occasions political and professional events I am the confident intellect. I think others do this to a degree, but maybe not as much as we BPDs do it.
I really think this has to do with our wavering and inconsistent sense of self/identity. We don't really know who we are..we lack consistency so we model after what we think others would like (which also has to do with our desire for approval).
Personality is defined as "The combination of characteristics or qualities that form an individual's distinctive character" and identity is defined as: "the sense of self, providing sameness and continuity in personality over time"
I find that we can look at what 'traits and values' are consistent in our personalities and see if they apply across the board it can help us to get a more stable picture of ourselves. For instance, I know for certain these traits apply to me always: I like to make others laugh, I am empathetic, I enjoy learning, I'm curious, I am intelligent, I am open-minded, analytical, and shy (just some examples). Listing our 'traits' that apply always can be helpful...
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