These are the two steps that I am terrified of. I am proud of you for being strong enough to do this and take full responsibility. When I read through the 12 steps I stopped at these steps and couldn't believe I would have to do this, like it would destroy me or something to that effect. The first time I admitted I had a problem and started to do something about it was 2006. I stayed on step 1,2, and 3 for 4 years, stayed clean for those years, too. But, by not working the steps or giving it anywhere near my all, I relapsed and have been living in my own personal hell for 2 years. Anyway, I just wanted to say good for you, sorry for rambling.