Thank you all for your thoughtful responses! I'm glad some of you have personal experience with this.
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Originally Posted by SallyBrown
Have you considered marriage counseling, to help with the communication issues between you and your H? Do you think that maybe if you guys could communicate better and empathize better, things might generally be better?
Also, it is extremely stressful to have kids on the autism spectrum. Are there any kind of support groups for moms near you? It can be nice to hang out with people who know exactly what you're talking about, and what you're struggling with at home, and with school (if your kids are old enough).
Stay strong!
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Hi Sally,
Thank you for your kind words! I hope your search for a new T is going better than mine. I had a session on Wednesday with a potential new T, and it was not a 'good fit' at all. She was condescending and reminded me of my mother. Fail.
My dh and I tried two different marriage counselors prior to learning of his diagnosis. After we had a better understanding of what was actually going on, my T referred me to a specialist in adult Asperger's, and we've been going to her monthly couples support group (which has been somewhat helpful), but she is 45 minutes away from us, and it's difficult to find the time/babysitters needed to see her more often.
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Originally Posted by stopdog
Have you tried talking to the therapist about how you may need more than he can provide? I would not just settle for once a month if I thought I needed more. There may be other options if you discussed it with him or you could even get his help to transition to another one.
I don't consider myself "under" anyone's "care" - let alone needing their permission or release to do anything. That whole paternalistic approach of some therapists is not something I will be a part of.
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I have not talked directly to my T about how I'd like to see him more often, although we've had this conversation before:
T: "Well, you can talk to me as often as you find it helpful."
Me: "That doesn't work for me."
T (confused): "What do you mean?"
Me (mumbling and staring at the carpet): "I said that doesn't work for me. My insurance won't pay for me to see you Monday through Wednesday each week."
Awkward silence.
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Anyway, like I said before, he's booked months in advance, and I can't know what's going on with my kids' activities/dh's work schedule/my classes that far in advance.
Part of me wishes I didn't like him so freaking much, but the truth is that not a lot of Ts are going to work for me. I am stubborn, I have trust issues, and I don't like Ts who are overly sensitive and emotional.
I see a potential new/supplemental T on Wednesday, so wish me luck!