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Bill3 · 12:08 AM

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Yes he's said things that are very emotionally hurtful; things that I wont ever forget. But is that abuse? How can it be that she thinks its so bad that I was "abused" when I can't see it myself? I don't know what to think.

I am very sorry to hear that you must treat being with your dad as a form of exposure therapy. I can see why it is necessary, but i feel very bad that the situation does require it, miswimmy1. I'm so sorry.

You could research emotional abuse and verbal abuse online. For example:

Verbal abuse:

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A form of emotional abuse consisting of the use of abusive and demeaning language with a spouse, child, or elder, often by a caregiver or other person in a position of power.

http://medical-dictionary.thefreedic...m/verbal+abuse

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Verbal abuse includes the following: countering, withholding, discounting, abuse disguised as a joke, blocking and diverting, accusing and blaming, judging and criticizing, trivializing, undermining, threatening, name calling, chronic forgetting, ordering, denial of anger or abuse, and abusive anger.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Verbal_abuse

Here is a very helpful discussion of the difference between anger and abuse:

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Here are a few ways to distinguish anger from abuse. Anger informs others about our own needs and feelings through “I” statements: abuse is about putting down, silencing, intimidating, and threatening others through “you” statements. Anger asks for attention, accountability, amends, and restitution: abuse seeks revenge, punishment and humiliation. Angry people own and express their own feelings: abusive persons export their own fear to others. Anger seeks to address and resolve problems: abuse is about overpowering and winning. Anger deals with the present issue: abuse is more often the result of a build-up of past issues and misplaced rage. Anger is fully consistent with love because it aims at deeper understanding and connection. It moves toward the other. Abuse is motivated by fear and hatred, and moves against the other. Anger is usually a brief flare and ends in closure: abuse arises from a smoldering fire of resentment, bitterness, and vengefulness that is never quenched. Appropriate anger, above all, is always nonviolent, safe, and in control: abuse is threatening, unsafe, and sometimes violent.

http://www.tommoon.net/articles/WhenAngerAbuse.html

This last article (although actually a response to a question that does not apply to you) imo is quite enlightening and i recommend it to you.