Wow... It is hard to find the words to say to this. Nothing I say can really help with what you are going through, or change what you are going through. It is a long list of pain and I can understand why it is so difficult for you. Please don't end your life. You are still young contrary to what you think, and you still have time to
urn things around. I know it is easy to want to not live, but is the alternative any better? We don't know what happens when we die, I think I know and hope I know, but I won't really until it happens. We just don't know, and it could be worse than what this is.

I want to start off with the fear of driving. Where do you live? Not specifics, but the reason I am asking is because driving is a big deal in the US and almost a necessity. I have been in the UK, and was planning a move there, so I know over there public transportation is cheap and easily accessible. If you live here, however, I know that PT is a pretty difficult deal. What exactly is your fear of driving? Do you know what caused it? These are things you will have to answer yourself, because doing little things like that would help you a whole lot.

I am not sure about waiting on a T, to me that is a necessity for you. There are some issues you have to work out in order to live a normal life. It starts with baby steps. Once you drive, you could start going to a Church. Once you go to a Church, you could meet a partner (future spouse) that will take care of you and help you through all this. Or, you might just find a friend or someone who knows somewhere you can work. It will help to be sociable, and that will help towards finding you a job. You see? It is little things that will get you where you need to be.

I was in a similar situation at one time, and I just fixed it. Not quite sure how I did it, though I was still young and in my teens. My biggest thing was accepting myself, once I did that others accepted me. I then became outgoing, sociable. That led to getting a job, which led to getting my license. I am still working my way through college but at one point I was so shy, insecure, and afraid of life that I couldn't make a simple phone call to receive information.

Having a therapist would be a big help, though. Your therapist will probably tell you what I am telling you, but will work with you slowly and find the root of all these issues. Have you ever looked up information on homes and such? I know they have like group homes and things, but I don't know much about them. That is another thing that may help.

Your biggest need in my opinion is support. You don't seem to have enough of that. The next would be confidence, which is something else that is a necessity. It is a learned trait though. Other than that I am not sure what else I can say that will help with what you are going through. I do hope you find some more support here, at least, and that other members will have more useful posts than this. Hope things get better for you, and if you ever need to talk drop me a PM. Take care .