I am of the general consensus that seeing as I paid national insurance, and that the reason for me seeking help on the NHS is not for something I have done to myself, but for abuse as a child. I should be entitled to free therapy. If it wasnt for mess ups with the police, school, and social services I might not be in as much of a mess as I am now and I could have reduced the amount I need to talk about.
Any of you not from the uk may not know, but over here it is a postcode lottery as to who can see a therapist. I am not a lucky winner. All we have are 6 session interventions. (although my awesome ex t managed to get it extended twice to an overall 20 sessions which is absolute maximum). Finally I got a GP who was willing to help and they got me seen by community mental health and she is looking into what is availiable to me. Although at the moment we are trying to get the gps diagnoses of PTSD confirmed by a psychiatric doctor. Over the past week I have freaked out because someone mentioned my short bouts of depression and my highs could be bipolar and after some research, no matter how much I look into it I can't find anything that contradicts this notion. Trust me I have tried. My head is such a mess at the moment, all I know is I feel better when I have a T to open up to.
So I am trying to get help but with the mental health nurse only seeing me fortnightly it's going to take time. Time that I'm spending driving myself crazy because I am fighting my natural instinct to wait and try to build trust. I am doing this because I have a 4 year old precious daughter who means the world to me and at the moment we are technically homeless, but living in a hostel and my irritability and her upheaval is hard on her and that is hard for me to bear. I need to sort myself out to be there for her. I am so conflicted in my head it is literally driving me round the twist.
I know I have to be open and honest with this mental health nurse and quick because otherwise she will discharge me and leave me on my own again.

Sorry I was rambling, I don't really have anyone to talk to so I am reaching out to the world wide web under the shroud of anonymity!