i am never ever going to be able to deal with stuff from my past i know this is so true.i woke thismorning feeling so bad, confused, terrified, and panicked. how am i ever going to deal with it. god it all just runs my life and if my T even refers to it a small amount i panic and retreat and have the most horrible memories keep pleaging me. i don't think she will believe me if i tell her this.i just want to sleep i don't want these memories. how can i want so badly to share this all with her and at the same time be so terrified to do it that i know i never will. god i hate me today. going into hiding