I also felt this way Lee. "Those old timers really have it going on, they're always smiling!" I always thought, wow they must feel really good about themselves, being sober and all.
But no, they "simply" surrendered. As I mentioned in another posting, my skepticism had to be thrown out; my sponsor reminds me that this is lacking faith. Remember when I did the 3rd step? I handed my life and will over the care of God, which I still do everyday and sometimes 100 times a day. Taking my will back is not surrendering, look where my will got me before? not any place good.

I am also reminded that I am not doing anything saintly, I'm a drunk who is not drinking a day at a time. And I can even take 'I' out of the equation...'I' am actually not doing anything, my Higher Power is doing it for me!

A lot of the program revolves around humility, and I know that once I think I have it, I really don't lol.

I also like what Madisgram has to say:
"when i'd try to justify something my sponsor would say "that's nothing but false pride and ego" and she kept walking(!!!). for sometime i thought.. "she's wrong". i felt like a worm and i certainly had no ego or pride. finally i asked her why she kept saying that. duh..why did i wait so long to ask? she gave me examples of my pride and ego that were things i needed to change. that i didn't have the answers to anything. talk about learning to possess humility. thank goodness for wise sponsors."

When I did my fourth step what was the character defect that kept coming up? Pride. Often involved in someway or another in my behaviors: pride, pride, pride. As a fairly new member to this fellowship I can't say that pride still doesn't get in the way of things and my behavior--my sponsor implores me to 'check my motives' and to 'hand it over' I am not in control, when I find myself taking my own will, I always run into trouble. Einstein's theory of insanity is 'doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.' Well every time I take my own will it turns out badly: that is INSANE! I am not the one to restore myself to sanity, step 2, so I need to 'let go' /accept and let my HP do it.

I am like you Madisgram. Surely, I thought, my pride could not be getting in the way, I think so poorly of myself. But self-pity, my sponsor reminds me, is another form of pride. My Higher Power doesn't think I'm a piece of crap, what makes me so special to think I am? I am still obsessing about myself, and I hear time and time again "humility is not thinking less of yourself, it's thinking of yourself less."

Surrendering I believe is the pathway to freedom and humility...the steps pave the way. I'm not close to being there, but I'll keep coming back. Thank you for sharing.