You're not sick at all. I think sexual feelings can get mixed up with intense emotions particularly in people who have had certain experiences in the past, but even in people who haven't. You're certainly not the first or only client who has wondered about T's sex life. I've done the same although I've quickly shifted the thoughts aside out of embarrassment. I certainly wouldn't be able to admit it to her so you're braver than me in that way. I don't have sexual feelings towards my T per sae it's more that those feelings occasionally get confused with wanting to be close to her. I can't speak for you or anyone else but I wonder if that's the same?

Also, I think it can be comforting to think about T in a sexual way when there have been frightening experiences around sex in the past. T is a safe person therefore linking her with sex can make it seem less scary, perhaps.

Whatever the reason you're not a freak and T won't think so either. As someone else said, us humans are wired for sex and so it's not strange or sick to think about it while with people we are emotionally intimate with.