to my mind, there is nothing wrong with being dependent on T. you asked how can she 'appreciate' such a negative letter. this is more about you than her. if she has made mistakes - which all humans do, regardless - you can learn to deal with it; to still have her in your life even if she is not perfect. We HAD to run, before, at the first hint of imperfection, because what if this new person is (like) our victimiser? Chances are good your T is not your victimiser; you can talk about it here, check it out here, ensure your safety here until you can be sure of yourself. I will agree with dr phil on this, that if you're waffling every minute, then you are still involved (altho he says it re an H).