Sorry your having such a rough time. I know its easy to harm ourselves or think about sui but the thing I always remember and it sounds so over used and that is it will get better. Its only bad now and it may get worse but it can always get better. I know what you mean by being treated like a kid I get that all the time and I guess they are just trying to keep me on a level Idk. I hope you get feeling less angry and hang out here no need to leave this world, just hang in there through the tough times and enjoy any good thing you can find.