You said before that he is generally quite passive, right? I think that is the explanation. Do you remember me complaining about my husband? And that I confronted him about certain things he was doing and NOT doing that were driving us apart? When I told him that I mentally given him a time limit to get his act together, and if things were not better by May, I wanted him to move out, he cried and was upset, AND THEN HE PACKED. It was like he was just giving up and accepting that things were over and he wasn't even going to TRY in the intervening six months between when I told him that, and the deadline, to change anything. We did start going back to marriage counseling, and things improved, but HE wasn't doing anything to get us there. I still had to be the one making the appointments, etc. He insists he loves me, he simply got overwhelmed and depressed and saw no hope, so couldn't take any action. Maybe something similar is happening for your T.