I try to have a different focus with these conversations. I know that although I have a reason why I sometimes act poorly, it's not going to prevent those around me from being hurt when this happens. I try to explain what's going on so they can understand and help put it in perspective when it happens. However, I also engage them in helping.

For instance, my newest tactics in this area are to walk away early if I think I'm about to go off; and to have others say it's time to walk away when things start to go south. The people in my life are important to me and I don't want to hurt them. I also don't want to teach them that they should take verbal abuse for any reason. This could set a precedent for future abusive situations in their lives, and that's certainly not a legacy I want.