Hi Sally,

I don't come here much anymore, but I had to come out of lurkdom to say how sorry I am to hear how the story with your therapist has been unfolding. I'd be beyond heartbroken (and pissed) if the same happened with my therapist.

I don't want to confound my experience with yours, but one thing I wanted to say was that as much of a douche canoe as your therapist is being right now (hope outraged name calling is okay for the moment), it's probably for the best that you're moving on, at least temporarily. When I went through a huge rupture with my T last year, the thing that got to me the most was that she just refused to talk about her side of it after a certain point. As in, she wouldn't share any of her feelings or reactions or responses. I know that her intentions were good, that she was trying to keep me from becoming triggered and to focus on me, not her, but the whole thing was just all the more triggering for me. I ended up taking several months off from therapy, and when I came back things were a little better, but still difficult. I'm impressed with your ability to have the presence of mind to seek out an alternate therapist amidst the shitstorm your T has been perpetuating.

I'm in a rush, and not sure I'm really saying anything coherent here, but at the very least, know that I'm hoping that things work out well for you (whatever that might look like).

Oh, and one thought on why your T is perhaps acting the way he is - maybe he's too entangled? Too hurt, and therefore too tangled up to be able to respond therapeutically. Feels like countertransference run amok.