Well I see alot of people share their stories so I figured Ill share mine. Well Im here after a noticeable sui attempt on December 8, 2011, I on other occasions tried to drink myself to death almost succeeding both times but most people just thought I partied to much no they where sorrow drowning me drowning incidents. Well December 8 I had gotten to the point about two years before of drinking everyday non stop spending loads of money on it to say the least but I had a good job one that a stayed drunk at but no one said anything and my employees just thought I partied alot well once again I partied when I was up and drank when I was down so yeah I was drunk alot to the point of my family saying I needed help but I blew them off and continued drinking my pains away untill one night it got to be to much.

December 8, 2011
I went out to have a good time cheer myself up and the wood brothers where in town so perfect excuse to go out alone as usual no one wanted to be around me. I did however manage to get one friend to come but anyway. I drank alot as usual and heard a song that brought me to tears luckiest man. It said fighting is foolish and running is useless so at that point I realized my problems would never go away so I decided there I was going to die that night. I used my truck to do it however that failed so I wrecked my truck into a pole and hit hard but it didnt kill me, so I drove home on the rim not really giving a flying **** about it getting home I rushed in to get the gun and I was going to end it my friend tackled me and handcuffed me. I laid on the ground crying explaining how I was going to die and needed to. I was pretty depressed at this point, they refused to let me stay at home and took me to the ER I was a babbling mess and drunk off my *** so I explained everything so they took me in and gave me fluids to drain out the alcohol in me and sober me up so I could be later taken to the psych ward. Well I spent three days there seeing no relief in sight I lied and got out, the next day I found a psychiatrist and got an emergency appointment.

The appt:
Went to the appointment terrified I was going to go back to the mental hospital but he said unless I thought that was needed I wouldnt well I didnt so We talked for a good while as I explained my story and he dxed me as Bipolar and said I couldnt drink anymore. devastating news because at this point drinking was a comforting thing that hurt if I didnt drink.

Leading up to my second stay at the hospital:
Well I tried to stop kinda and went back to drinking hard I mean really hard I was going through a fifth a night, I got drunk in front of my family and they didnt like what they saw where I was headed. I broke my hand on the granite tops and yelled at them and saw things coming from their heads, I guess I had a bad trip my doc seems to think thats part of psychosis IDk. But anyway things got bad and worse to the point where I got to december 31, 2011.

December 31,2011:
I went to work that day driving a little drunk as I had a bottle I hid in my car for just such occasion as I couldnt drink at home for I had told them if I drank heavily again I would go to rehab. So I got to work new years eve it was a get off early day no one was there so we started the party at work I got drunk as usual and continued to drink more at a friends house. It was about 6 o clock I decided I shouldnt be drinking so I needed to go home got in a wreck and went to jail in jail I was very suicidal, so the next day new years I was back in the hospital on orders to be on the cage program and get my meds right before I went to rehab.

Fast forward:
Past rehab everything is going fine untill about March which is when I found this place I was back in the hospital for sui thoughts and cutting so another med adjust and things going good I was released and back on the streets this goes good for about 2 months and so in late july to agust 1 I was in the hospital again for 8 days Lamictal introduced as well as risperdol instead of abilify and things are good.

Today:
I tell my story in part because its therapeutic for me and I hope it shows people that the bottom is a short fall and a hard landing. Im doing better now much better people are still hesitant to be around me but after years of verbal and physical abuse who can blame them. I hope someone finds hope for themselves in this story. It took me 3 years to get help from the time of being told I needed to, to the point of hitting the bottom and seeking help. Hope you find this entertaining and a story of hope. Thanks for letting me share.