I agree with lifelike above, it sounds like your therapist has his own issues. His issues are probably not helping yours, and maybe he knows that. If he hasn't cried that hard in 3 or 4 years, something has been triggered in him. Ruptures can often be reenactments, where both sides of the therapeutical room are engaged in something that is not in the here and now, but in a transference of their own.

It sounds like maybe he doesn't want to disclose personal information, but is trying to tell you that maybe he needs time. I do think it would be nice if he gave you some concrete answer, but it looks like that isn't going to happen

I don't know about your T, Sally, but I'm concerned about YOU. I get feeling betrayed, abandoned, manipulated, enraged, and the extreme suicidal thoughts/urges. It feels like getting run over by a freight train while everyone sits and watches and they can stop it at anytime but they allow it to keep rolling right over you. After having gone through this hellish nightmare, the last thing I want is for you or anybody else to go through it. I'm here if you need me, though. Feel free to PM.

I am in a deadened state right now, depression, I'm not experiencing much. I hope that you look for another therapist even if it is just temporary. I wish I had found a therapist before I left my xT, it would have made the termination a lot less traumatic.
Take care of you!