Hey Ya'll

I just wanted to share that I feel sooo good after my session tonight with T...I'm so beyond thankful he is my therapist and walking with me through this tough stuff. I did an awesome job tonight of talking and not shutting down...I pushed through some tough stuff and actually spoke things that I normally just keep inside. Last week we had a rough week-I used a not-so-great method of trying to get my needs met in there (I just wanted him to come sit by me and comfort me-but it came out as anger and frustration-so there was a discussion about exactly what it is about him sitting next to me that I need-and how it needs to be articulated that's what it is-instead of going off like I did.
So tonight while he was sitting next to me talking-he told a story/example and it made me cry because it involved something that I didn't have as a child that I desperately needed. So he was so amazing about this-telling me again that it's part of the work to bring that grief out-to heal it-and in some ways repair it in that space...and he told me again that I deserved these things as a child-and that it has NOTHING to do with me-I didn't do or not do anything to make it happen to me...which I have heard before-and I'm still trying to let that become a truth for me...but tonight it felt good.
So T told me I did awesome work tonight-and he asked if I wanted to keep doing great work and I said yeah-and he joked "so you are not going to fire me? after last week i wasn't sure" and I said "Ohh no way-we've come too far" and T thought that was just beautiful and wants me to write that down and remember. He then talked about spiritual stuff which I won't talk about here...but I'm so glad we share our faith.
Then we hugged and I walked out of there feeling like something had shifted-and I'm still working through what it is-and I hope it lasts-but I'm excited-I feel like a little bit of me is healing <3