You were "someone" once...think back to what you used to be then, what your original spirit felt like before it was broken.
The irony is you can recapture that spirit because it's never gone, just buried somewhere.
Oh and by the way, you have done much more than enter a post under an assumed name on a website...you have taken the first step on your way back.
Don't underestimate the power of the written word....
You won't recover it overnight, but if you keep searching for it, it will come back.