Hey everyone, I'm new here.... Was referred to this website by my friend.

I just wanted to talk a bit I guess about myself and school...

Well, first off, I go to the 2nd best school in Washington state, and it's a LOT of hard work... it's pretty much a college prep school and I'm in my Sophomore year, and already it's so much harder than last year..
Other students agree, but I'm having so much trouble when it comes to focusing.
I can't focus on anything that's even remotely boring to me. I'm a very slow reader, as often when I read(unless I'm interested in the subject) I am looking at the words, but not absorbing what they're supposed to be meaning.
I'm not very comfortable around the 'normal' people in my school, and I'm more comfortable with the 'weirdos' I guess. I have a group of 3 friends that I'm the most comfortable around, so at least I've got them..

One thing that's been a lot of trouble for me is that I, apparently, have very sensitive hearing. The sound of people eating or whatever just bugs the carp out of me. People will often snack during classes they are allowed to, and I'm uncomfortably close to a couple people in one of my classes and BOTH of them eat during that class, so it's like having a dagger dug into each ear. It's incredibly uncomfortable, and I can't help but stab my pencil into my binder and bite my tongue, trying to hold it together.

Another thing is my motivation... I don't feel much motivation towards school, and I think the main thing keeping me trying as hard as I do is the guilt I feel if I don't. I feel guilty if my parents comment on a bad grade(I'm not doing the best in history since I can't focus on it) and then I get frustrated with them and myself, and retreat back to my room, to my computer, to my music.

I'm having a hard time seeing this school year going well since it's JUST started and already I'm sick of it and dreading having to get up for school 4 times a week(yeah, only 4 times, but that's because the work is so hard, we get one day off for homework and whatever else we need to do).

I dunno... My dad's out of work and my mom just works for our church, but nothing major, so we don't have health insurance, and money's tight, so there's no way we can go to the doctors for appointments, diagnostics, ect.,...

But I know that mental health problems, addiction, and other sort of problems like that run in my mom's side of my family....

Ahhg... I don't know. I don't think I'm being lazy, I just can't get motivated to start working on anything that's not due within 1 day. I've got 2 papers to write, one due next Monday and the other due at the end of October(with 3 other papers I'll have to write).

I just feel like it'd be so much easier just to stay home and work on my art, and my animals. (I'm a Crested Gecko breeder, even though I'm only just a few months from being 16)
School's such a pain, and I don't even know what I want to major in, but I think I'm not going to be 'normal' with my Junior year of school and attend Running Start, or, a way I can do college classes that count for both my highschool and college credits through my community college. That way when I finish highschool, I should have my AA also.
As I type this, I have no enthusiasm about it. I honestly don't care right now and would rather focus on things like music, art, and animals rather than school.

I should probably set up an appointment with the school counselor or something, but I think she's pretty booked being in only 1-2 days a week and stuff. Plus, I'm too embarrassed I think to talk about this stuff, let alone tell my parents I've got an appointment with a school counselor. *big sigh*

Anyway, it's getting late and I've got school tomorrow(yeee...-_-) so I suppose I should try to get some sleep.
(oh, and I might add, I've sort of suspect I have ADD and OCD, possibly high-functioning Aspergers(that one I'm skeptical, but I do share a lot of the symptoms) I don't want to go around labeling myself though since I don't have a professional diagnostic)

Oh, and you can call me Mel, if you want. >< Hi, Psychcentral!
And, goodnight!