All I knew was that I felt like hell. Like I was an alien on another planet sorta. Life was going on around me and I didn't understand why I couldn't feel a part of it.

What this was was extreme depression. When I finally saw a proper Doc, I found that the depression was a result of dealing with some [not even remotely suspected by me] behavior and mood disorder stuff. I don't feel so alienated now that I know the reason behind my feeling that way. Various therapies, meds and other, have somewhat helped with this.

That said, the road to feeling as good as I can has been a tough one for me and remains so. My life has improved however. It just needs more improving to be able to fully come to terms with my limitations. I'll always be limited somewhat but understanding and adapting to these limitations can certainly further my enjoyment of life.

That all sounds cornbally a little but it's the way it is with me. At least it's how I see things tonight.