Your Ex is most likely ADD as well. The longer the ADD goes on undiagnosed the worse the bad coping skills get. Anger is SO common among ADD males. After decades of being wrong, it just takes a toll. Not to make excuses for him, believe me. I don't behave that way and I believe the anger must be controlled. The root of it all is the low self-esteem that keps building over time. This is great for your son to find out about this now before more damage is done.

The meds have an immediate affect on most people, though it may take a little while to find the right dosage. Poor executive function leaves us remembering a totally different memory of an event as well. So when you discuss the phone call situation again, he may remember things very differently from you. Short Term memory for ADDer's is full of holes that we have to try and fill in, which leads to errors of course, but the ADDer "Believes" it to be true, afterall it IS your memory Right or Wrong.

I kept my anger on the inside very well, but once I knew what I was dealing with and started my Adderall. I Felt better and my racing brain had better brakes. The anger levels dropped almost immediately.

Hang in there Sunshinepaulie