Thank you. It's sucks being honest, but i know you're all correct..... I went to a Concert monday to see my one of my favorite bands and gave me some time to reflect, so i am doing a little better. (Course i also found out that my car was broken into and i had a lot of stuff stolen which made me violently angry all night and tired, but thats beside the point). Needless to say I may see a chaplain this week and ask for a referral to BH. My friend told me if i didnt go she'd fly down to where i live and drag me into the office, because shes worried about me. I really need to stop dragging my feet. I'll see if i can muster up the courage to ask for help... ( i really hate that) and post back