I suspect the problem wasn't the fetish itself, but his obsessiveness with it? And evidently a little bit of lack of respect? Evidently this wasn't just a fetish to be talked about at sexy time, this was something that apparently was a big part of his identity and he wanted it to be a big deal all round. So maybe not the fault of the fetish itself, but of the personality behind it?

Ah, I hope you have better luck in the future