You do have the option of walking away. Then adult protection services will arrange for her safety. Her property will also be appropriated to pay toward the cost of her care. Are you, in some way, dependent upon her? Perhaps you have no where to go, if you were to leave. Maybe there are factors keeping you in that house with her that have something to do with you having needs that get met there. It does sound awful, and it does sound like this is destroying your life.

I agree with the poster above who advised that you might welcome the neighbors calling the police. If your mother threatens you with harm, you can call the police yourself. That gets the authorities involved. I have worked in geriatric psych units where individuals like your mom were brought for observation. There are alternatives to what you are now doing. Those might involve your mom being cared for in a nursing home. That would gobble up any wealth she might have. If she owns a home, that might have to be sold. That might feel like too much change for you to cope with.

It is awful to be in your position. Do you believe her violence and hostility are a product of the ministrokes? Was she a warm, kind, loving mom before she had the strokes? Do you have a history of her being very supportive of you before she had the ministrokes? Your mom and you have a 30 year history together. Maybe some of it was good. That might be why you want to do your best to attend to her needs now.

It sounds like you are hoping that your mom could be more reasonable and not have these episodes. As long as the two of you are in that house alone together, the past will be the best predictor of the future. You are trapped in a living nightmare. It is very much like the dilemma of a wife living with an abusive spouse. There are other sons and daughters living the same demeaning existence trapped at home with a parent. It is heart-breakingly sad. Only you can decide what to do. I do not believe you have a moral obligation to stay in this situation. In the end, it's what you believe that counts.

In some communities, the police have a special unit to come into the home and counsel about what some options might be. A domestic violence hotline might give you some support.

It doesn't sound like your mom can be safely left alone for much time. That leaves you with a 24/7 responsibility. It is too much for one person, given that your mom is so difficult at times. What does her doctor say to you about the arrangement? It would be good for you to tell the doctor about her behavior. It is good to get that documented.

I hope you find a way out. This isn't much of a life for you.