I feel this way sometimes..Okay, I lied, I feel this way all the time. Well, I think I am addicted to emotions. Why else would I keep going back to the horrible ones and expect something different?

I hang onto them, try to control them, try to manipulate them, try to stifle them and do everything but...just...feel them, but..I feel them too much. I need to let go of them. Sure I can maintain a false persona of infinite happiness and optimism or perhaps some insipid mania. I can show a facade to the world, but something in me craves emotions and yet, I crave peace and release from them.

I feel it.

And, sometimes I can let go of them..and I experience small moments of serenity and peace...but then they come back with my permission and the problems with them.