So I've been feeling really bad lately. I feel like a failure because I'm not looking for work and I don't want a job even though I need one really badly. (Even though I'm selling artwork; it's not something to live by but I like it). And I feel as though everyone my age or around my age is passing by and is not interesting in me or my life. I feel like I don't matter in the grand scheme of things even though I know that's not true. I know I put too much pressure on myself to be better than I am. I have a lot of good things I love about myself; like my artistic side and my beauty and my caring nature. But it doesn't make the bad go away.

The biggest obstacle I'm facing right now is that I feel stuck. I feel stuck because I'm depressed but can't bring myself to call a counselor. I'm stuck because both of my parents are disabled and I'm afraid that if I leave home they'll get hurt. I'm stuck because I'm supposed to be an adult but also a daughter and I have to be the parent and thus don't want to grow up. I want to have fun! And live life! But I feel really stuck.

I want to be able to tell my mom that I need help; because she's been there for me in the past. But last year we had our house burn down and she was diagnosed with a disease so I feel like she's grieving things too. I don't want to be a burden to her. But I also feel like she's not being there for me like I need her to be. For example, she's on some form of technology all day and doesn't even know when I'm upset. She used to notice.

Even today, she asked my brother if something was wrong but I'm over here in terrible pain and sadness and she won't even acknowledge it.

I'm disappointed in her and myself and I want to know how I can be encouraged to call a counselor and tell her. What I can do to address these issues and be okay?