((((Clouds and Sun)))))

What part of the world are you in? There are many agencies that ensure that people are getting the love and care that they need. Have you ever tried contacting suicide support resources?

http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org
or 1-800-273-TALK (8255)

I can relate to a few of the issues that haunt you ~ lack of family support and friends; I'm 41 years-old, have 2 daughters, which my ex-hub has primary custody of (talk about depressing!! ); I am disabled as well. Physically and emotionally, which can feel pretty hopeless to me at times.

I do recommend that you look more intensely into what your options are. Maybe the doc you're seeing now doesn't feel inclined to approve you for SSI, but that doesn't mean that all doctors would share that same perspective. You Do deserve a better life and better treatment of this debilitating disorder! Keep pushing until you get the assistance that you need. Very best wishes to you ~ gentle hugs sent your way.