Have you tried therapy yet? to delve into the root cause of why you do what you do. That is so important. I self-sabotage too. I know why I do it. because of guilt and low self-esteem. I am still working on myself but I plan to try to be more self-aware of my psyche and my actions and to catch myself before I do it and to (try to ) replace it with more self-care thoughts. Might that work for you too? I hope so. I'm so glad you are reaching out. Welcome to PC.