What great things you have figured out! I didn't quite get it even when my stepmother said, "That's just an observation, not a criticism". Other people can only tell us what they see from their point of view and that isn't about us, that's just them telling us things from their point of view! So, even when someone else criticizes one, it is up to the criticizee to look at the criticism and see how useful it is in their own life. If someone praises one, the praisee has to do the same thing. Everything said to us is from/about the person saying; how we take it or what meaning it has for us, etc. is about us and our own filters.