Quote:
Originally Posted by geez
I am doing EMDR with some talk therapy with T1. I have been going every other week because it can be really intense and I don't know if I can 'do more' with how busy my life is.
Today in EMDR my T mentioned how we need to really work on building a 'foundation' of security within myself in order to feel confidence etc...
She asked me if there was anyone I felt valued by in my life. I told her my grandmother made me feel that way (unfortunately she died when I was 13). T then asked if there was anyone else that I felt that from. Someone who I drew strength from to help me make the changes I wanted/needed in my life (health/wellness). I told her "you". "You believed in me when I didn't believe in myself". T just smiled and said is there anyone else? I said perhaps a teacher when I was in middle school. She praised my art work and I felt like she valued me. It felt like I mattered in the world.
We then went on to do some EMDR and we focused on my grandmother and how I felt about her and why. How I felt loved by her. My T then asked if there was anyone else I could think of and I wanted to say "You"  but I didn't because in my head I said to myself: "perhaps that would make her feel uncomfortable?" "Perhaps the rules are it can never be about her?" - of course I kept this all in my head. When I see her again in two weeks I'm going to ask the questions I was asking in my head but never said out loud.
Any thoughts? - especially those who went through EMDR or therapy in general. Having it be about your T is ok? right? There really is no one else that I feel that unwavering support from (other than maybe marriage T as well - she is my other guardian angel).
Sorry for the book!
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It is normal to have feelings for your T. I have the same issue. I am able to talk to her about it at any time. However, she has expertise in transference so it is easy for her to talk with me about it. My feelings are incredibly intense but she has never made me feel ashamed about it. I have BPD
Borderline Personality Disorder so my emotions are intense for me and hard sometimes impossible to regulate. I hope your T. can talk with you about your feelings because it's important that you are able to express them.
Let me know how it goes I would be interested in hearing how it went.
Take good care and don't feel ashamed.